Hearts and roses and kisses galore…
What the hell is that schtuff for
People get mushy and start acting queer
It’s definitely the most annoying day of the year.
Today marks two weeks since Valentine's Day...that loveliest of holidays where twidderpated hearts and much sex ensue. My friend James recently told me about his gift to his sweetie. He called it "Fourteen Days of Valentines" and it started on February 1st. In mid-January, he bought fourteen gifts for his girlfriend and packaged them up with bright bows and coupled all of them with a calendar. He then mailed these in a big box with the instructions that she was to open up each gift indicated by the day on the calendar. I thought it was one of the most romantic things that I'd ever heard of anyone doing for anyone. Since a well-known author used the word "perfect" a ton in describing her protagonist, I'm offering up these "sample" men for you ladies out there to see if they could distract you from your work-in-progress.
|You can find this model at any Home Depot or Lowes, but, they're really expensivo.|
|Officially, an endangered species :/ Best of luck.|
|You have to cross the border into Mexico to find this one.|
|This is the guy you find at the bookstore. But with all the writers out there hanging out next to bookshelves, it's a real fight to find one that isn't spoken for.|
|This guy won't last because he doesn't know he's gay yet. However, that gives|
you at least a few years of happiness before you have to trade him in.
Look for him amongst Republicans and Literary Agents.
|This guy can only be found in big cities. The downside is that he may be a clean freak, insisting that all of your towels be at the same level on the rack.|
|This charmer generally haunts cooking venues like Sur Le Table. However, he really could be just about anyone. To find him, use the question, "What wine goes with a filet mignon?" If he answers correctly, bam... you've got one on the line.|